Create a safer environment

Violence at home: ask what's wrong

During my research, students who had experienced violence repeatedly said that even though bruises, absences, and misbehaviour must have told observers that something was wrong, they were rarely asked directly. Even those who said they would not have answered also said that asking was essential to show someone cared. One student was adamant that this question was the most important thing that could have been done to support her learning:

I think that people in the schools, if you see a kid in that kind of situation... like the way I was, missing school and that stuff - if the child doesn't answer you, then you should at least ask them "Do you need food? Do you need any bus tickets?" Start off like that. That could make them tell you something, I'm telling you... When I was going through my grade school, I just had them buy me stuff... clothes and stuff, but no one specifically asked me "Natalie, what's wrong at your house?" Which they should have... Of course I would have said something, because I would have believed that they wanted to help me. That's what teachers need to do, I'm telling you. You have to sit down, and - even if they don't say nothing. You could ask them specifically, straight up, "okay do you have a problem at home?" If they say no, you ask them why are they missing school. If they still say nothing, then ask them what they need... I think counsellors should ask these kids, because I'm telling you, it's important. Believe me, they'll learn more, they'll do something, if somebody else will pay attention. If somebody else pays attention to them, they'll learn better.

Like, if somebody had paid attention to me, in school... I don't think that teachers should just think "Okay, their parents are supposed to do that for them." You can't be so ignorant, sometimes at home that's what they're getting, ignorance. So they're thinking at least if they go to school, if somebody's more open with them and more helpful towards them, trust me, it's a lot better for that person to do something with their life.