I learned to lie at a very young age. I think it's one of the things I've never been able to lose. We talk about this a lot. I lie for any reason. I lie all the time. I know now not to lie, but if I still feel like I'm in trouble, I'll lie... As a kid, it was such a coping mechanism. "I have a bladder problem, I hurt my foot, my dog died, my grandmother died, my father blew up," I don't even have a father but I used him a lot. Because you learn to really use that as - okay, no one's listening to me, but if I lie, someone will care. (Jennifer Hogan)

It is tempting to judge students as not serious about their learning, particularly when they lie about their absences or failure to complete assignments. Knowing more about survival strategies students have learned may support teachers to understand students' choices and avoid deciding that students simply don't care when they continue to use these survival strategies in school.

Counselling supports need to be easily, and confidentially, accessible for students and teachers alike. Where there is access to supports and everyone is familiar with and able to trust available resource people, students and teachers will be more likely to be able to understand their own and each other's struggles, and to focus on respectful connection to support learning.

Build hope

[Teachers] took the time to get to know who I was. They didn't see me as some girl that needed to be pitied. They saw that I had so much potential and so much to offer, and they tried to harvest that potential. They encouraged me to be the best that I could be despite my circumstances.

Everybody comes from different walks of life. Sure, you may have a couple of people who are being bullied in your classroom; you can't treat them as one person. Everybody has individual circumstances and histories, and so you should try to cater to those people. To work one-on-one with them, and not to - it's not about solving their problems, but to continually encourage them. Treat them as an individual, and not as "somebody who's being bullied." (Susan)